The moon rules the sixth sign of the zodiac, Cancer. I can also vouch for the fact that this heavenly body that controls the tides here on Earth is a huge contributor to our personality and the way we react to it. Our moon is our emotional side, our feelings inside in the deepest recesses of our souls. It is our gut reaction, how we proceed without even thinking about it, things rooted in habit, inborn natural instinct. Oh, and I’d just like to add that Cancer men are fucking douchebags. They are good for fucking, but not much else.

The moon heavily effects those born under the water signs: Pisces, Cancer, and Scorpio. I used to live under the same roof with all of them, myself included. We are all very emotional and our attitudes have much to do with the moon. The moon has very much to do with feminine energy. This is your softer, more emotional side even if you are a guy, especially born in the feminine signs: Taurus, Cancer, Virgo Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces. Well, in my ex boyfriend’s case, his softer more cunty PMS douchebag side. I mean, hence, that’s why we “used” to live under the same roof. He tried to blow up my car and um, used to think people were “coming to get him”. He kept a large mallet hammer thing by the door to smash them with, yeah, he wasn’t right, not at all. It gets sticky though, if you are not an avid astrologer, because you really would need to look up your moon sign and have that interpreted within your chart to find out this concerns you.

To prove my point though, for skeptics and nonbelievers, at least partially to the fact that astrology has some merit, think in terms of science. You are intelligent people, most of my readers are bloggers who write and think, so use your noodle and don’t be a stupid asshole, really…

The moon controls the tides. Our bodies are made up of water, an astounding 55 – 60 percent of our bodies. Men have 55 percent water mass and women, 60, surprise, surprise. Now, biologically, we all know that its not just prejudices that tell us women are more emotional. Does this have some correlation to the moon and it controlling some of our bodily processes? Oh, I think so, guys and dolls. So, in essence, Cancers are cunts and douchebags. Its not your fault, its in your nature. Sadly, this is the sign I connect with most on a sexual and emotional level, fuck, why God, why!?

So, definitely watch the moon and see what its doing especially if you are a water sign, but I know many earth, fire, and air signs who are also affected. We are all human and we are all made up of mostly water, and holy fucktards, we are made up of another element found in the ocean, salt!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, bitches, fucking salt. I know I bloat up like a montherfucker with salt during my fucking period. I feel as if when I bathe my ass might float away. Do witches float, oh fuck, this fucking witch does float when she’s on the rag!

Another interesting fact, bipolar disorder is often times successfully treated with Lithium, right. Its been very effective and doctors and scientists DO NOT KNOW WHY! Its really very fucking simple. Lithium is a salt found in the periodic table, it is not even a pharmaceutical, which is unfortunate, because how will you get high off your medicaid prescriptions if they are not pharmaceuticals. Fucking ripoff. If you are prescribed Lithium, you have been had, go get some Oxycodon. Tell them bitches you is in pain! Its absolutely no surprise that it regulates emotion and the way one feels. I suspect one of the major differences between table salt and Lithium is its ability to remain in the proper recesses of the brain where chemical activity takes place and affecting those systems positively. Although crude, rude, and definitely politically correct, they did not call the mentally ill, lunatics years ago for no reason. Those hospitals are chocked filled with patients during a full moon. Fuck, if the people at this blog are not one of them. We will eat your fucking soul during a full moon. We are like the bitch in Jennifer’s Body, but triune, there are three of us. We are the antichrist and there is fucking three of us, but only at that time of the month.

So, if anybody tries to tell you that the moon being full has nothing to do with how you feel or act, think again. Ask anybody who works at a psychological practice, hospital, or who is highly emotional. They will tell you.

Also, another case and point. Ladies, ever get your period during a full moon. How did you feel on that day, pretty douchy, bipolar, and tearful I would imagine. I know a few people who chart the way this affects their cycle. Its not a bad idea. So, pay attention fuckers!